POSITION ON DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE

Preamble:

In the light of recent applications for weddings by persons who are divorcees, the leadership sees the need to present and affirm the following stand on divorce and remarriage.

The leadership holds to the following:

1. The marriage covenant is sacred and therefore must be held in high regard at all times. For what God has joined together, let man not separate.
2. All marriage relationships will be faced with challenges, and some of these can have negative effects on couples. However God calls every believer to peace, reconciliation and forgiveness. As witnesses and living testimonies, we must be faithful to seek these things in response to challenges that come against marriages.
3. Should these challenges be overwhelming, couples must be responsible to seek pastoral counseling and mediation to help resolve and cope with the challenges.
4. Should the challenges remain and the differences between couples become irreconcilable such that their attempts to resolve becomes unfruitful and counter-productive, a separation may be advised in consultation with the church's pastoral leadership.
5. Separation in this instance must be viewed as a temporary and purposeful status with the aim of restoring the marriage and reconciling their relationship, not to prepare one for divorce.
6. Should a divorce result, both parties must be counseled towards repentance, and towards the seeking of inner healing for personal reconciliation and restoration of the wholeness of our church community. Singleness therefore must be viewed not just as a temporary solution but a viable path of faithfulness whether reconciliation with the other party is achieved or not. This attitude is fundamental to biblical and spiritual integrity.
7. Divorce, though recognized as an evil, is permissible where illicit sexual relation with someone else other than the spouse has been committed. Divorce here recognizes that the act of adultery has caused the death of the one flesh union.
8. Should the 'innocent' divorced party seek to remarry, such remarriage cannot be considered as adulterous. However, sufficient time must be given for the process of personal recovery through the ministry of the church.
9. All applications for remarriage in the church must be processed giving due time for careful and prayerful deliberation. A period of at least one year will be needed from the time a pastor has been assigned to the couple.
10. All such remarriages of Bartley church members and their blessing ceremonies will be considered on a case-by-case basis, and approval will only be granted upon the pastoral team's recommendation, based on individual circumstances.

Situation Allowing Remarriage to Take Place in Church: 

1. Divorcees who were previously divorced while they were not believers then, and who subsequently became one and want to hold their wedding in church, may do so, only because we do not hold what they did in their unreformed state against them. They must however submit themselves to premarital and pastoral counseling, and to the biblical teachings of the church as given by God on marriage.
2. Divorcees may also marry in our church if they had previously not done so here in the same premise and were not worshippers here then, as we want to extend grace and show acceptance to them who may have already been 'disciplined' by their previous church and therefore were not allowed to hold their wedding ceremony there.

 

Situation Disallowing Remarriage to Take Place in Church:

Divorcees who had previously held their wedding ceremony in church and are remarrying again will have to hold their ceremony outside the church for the following reasons:

1. To avoid divisions among members in our church who may embrace different stands.
2. To prevent other new members or younger believers in our church from stumbling in their faith.

 

May 2005